


Jealousy (or, How to have fun with a cardinal sin)

by therealfroggy



Category: Reaper (TV)
Genre: F/M, Genderfuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 22:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealfroggy/pseuds/therealfroggy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is bummed out about Andi and Greg, and the Devil offers to cheer him up - and to help him make Andi jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealousy (or, How to have fun with a cardinal sin)

When Sam found himself facing the sight of Andi and Greg making out on the latter's couch, with a big-ass knife in his hand, he ran out of the house, angry and confused. Just outside Greg's front door, he found himself face to face with the Devil again.

“Aw, Sam, I'm sorry,” the Devil said, pouting sympathetically. “But at least now you know.”

Sam grit his teeth. “And now you're here to gloat?”

“No, no, Sammy, I would never do that!” the Devil said. “I just figured you'd need a shoulder to cry on, so to speak. How about a beer?”

And before Sam had time to answer, he was seated in a secluded corner of a grubby bar, a huge mug of beer in front of him. He grabbed his glass, taking a few long swallows before looking up at the Devil again.

“I can't believe she cheated on me!” Sam said angrily, then poured another half-pint down his throat. “She kissed him! How could she do that? She's supposed to be my girlfriend!”

“Oh, Sam, women are fickle creatures,” the Devil said, sipping from a glass of whiskey. “She probably never got over him, and then you got in the way. Accept it. Move on.”

Sam grumbled. He didn't want to move on; he wanted to fight and take her back!

“Sam! Hey, what're you doing here?”

Sam lifted his head. It was Sock and Ben, making their way over to Sam's table with a beer each. They were looking with interest at the Devil.

“Uh, hey, guys,” Sam said. Then he turned to the Devil. “This is Sock and Ben. Guys, this is the Devil.”

Sock yelled and jumped back from the table. Ben dropped his beer, which shattered and sprayed their feet with beer. Sam winced; he didn't know how the Devil would react to having his shoes and suit ruined.

But the Devil was very calm about it. “Sit down, boys,” he said, smiling amiably. “Barkeep! A keg for each of these fine fellows, please.”

Hesitantly, Sock and Ben pulled up a chair each and sat down.

“What do we call you, uh, the Devil?” Sock said, looking with fear and admiration at the personification of evil. He thought Sam had the coolest job in the world, unlike Sam, who didn't always like it very much.

“The Devil, or Satan, if you want to,” the Devil said pleasantly. “Satan's good with me.”

“So, uh, Sam. Weren't you going with Andi tonight?” Ben said, trying not to stare openly at the Devil.

Sock was ogling him blatantly, mouth slightly open in awe.

“She's with Greg,” Sam said sourly. “I walked in on them making out on Greg's couch.”

“Ouch!” Sock said, looking sympathetic. “Bro, she doesn't deserve you.”

Ben shook his head sadly. “I knew it wouldn't last.”

“Whoa, guys. This ain't over!” Sam said fiercely, slamming his beer down on the table. The Devil arched an eyebrow at him, and his friends just stared. “I'm going to make her so jealous I win her back.”

Sock snorted. “Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen. Bro, she's a total babe when she dresses up! You don't have a chance in hell.” He glanced nervously at the Devil. “Uh, no pun intended.”

“Yeah, thanks for the confidence vote, Sock,” Sam snapped, then drained the rest of his beer. He really did feel pissed off. “I just need to figure out how.”

“Be unfaithful to her in return,” Ben suggested helpfully, but he didn't look convinced.

Sock slapped Ben so hard on the back he hit his forehead on the table. “You're a genius, man!” he said, face lighting up like it did whenever he had a bad idea. “That's exactly what we need to do!”

“We?” Sam asked, but Sock shushed him.

“Sam, listen, listen! You need to make her jealous, right? Then she'll realize she loved you all along and come back to you! So what you gotta do, is be unfaithful; make out with someone, and then make sure she sees it!”

The Devil chuckled. “I like how you think, mister Wysocki.”

Sock grinned. Sam frowned.

“How is she supposed to see it?” he asked, not quite catching on to Sock's plan.

“Helluu, what are camera phones for?” Sock exclaimed, slapping Sam's forehead. Sam winced. “Just leave it somewhere she'll find it.”

Sam nodded slowly. “Okay, yeah. That might work. Who should I -”

“A guy,” Sock said promptly.

The Devil began laughing so loudly people were turning. Ben was blushing madly.

“What?”

“No, seriously, a guy,” Sock said, nodding fervently. “You need to make out with the least likely person ever. She needs to know that you'd rather take a _guy_ than her.”

Sam stared at his friend. The Devil was still laughing.

“Trust me, Sam. This is the shit. And Sam, you know I'm not gay, or even slightly interested in guys – except if Batman was real; then I'd totally turn fag for him – but as a responsible friend, I'm willing to sacrifice my dignity and masculinity for you,” Sock concluded, nodding sagely.

Ben slowly covered his face in his hands, the blush reaching his hairline. The Devil's grin had turned shark-like. Sam's eyes felt like they were popping out.

“Uh, yeah. Okay. Sounds like a good plan...” Sam said doubtfully.

“Of course it's a good plan!” Sock said. “Get your cellphone.”

The Devil cleared his throat. “Boys, this really does sound like a great deal of fun. But let me give you a little advice on women here, seeing as I've a few more years on my back than you.”

Sam nodded eagerly. He really did not want to make out with Sock, no matter how hurt Andi might be. “Okay, shoot.”

“If you make out with a guy, then all she'll think is that she scarred you so deeply you won't ever love another woman again,” the Devil said, swirling his whiskey. “She'll think you turned gay because you're afraid of getting hurt by another woman. Don't give her that power over you, man. Don't go there.”

Sam was listening now, as were the other two.

“Okay, I see your point. Then what?” Sam asked, when nothing else seemed to be forthcoming.

“What you need, is the hottest babe this town has seen,” the Devil smirked. “If Andi sees pictures of you with a gorgeous woman, then she'll know that you can have whomever you want and don't need to take her bullshit. She'll also want to compete with this new girl; women are vengeful like that.”

Sam slumped. “Yeah, great plan. Only I'm not exactly ass-deep in girls like that, you know?”

The Devil spread his hands. “Hey, what am I; a juggler? I can get three girls like that sitting at this very table within seconds,” he said, giving Sam an evil wink.

All three boys straightened up.

“Really?” Ben said, sounding insecure.

“You mean, three? Like one for each?” Sock asked, a lot more eager.

“Exactly; one for each of us,” the Devil said, laughing. “I mean, three for Sam, for his photos.”

Sam frowned. “What's it gonna cost me?”

The Devil pouted. “Sammy, you wound me. Why do you have to be so cynical? I want nothing from you but your promise that you'll kiss each of the girls and pose with them for a few snapshots. Agreed?”

Sam considered. “Nothing else? You get the girls, I kiss them, we take a picture of each of them with me. That's all, right?”

The Devil held up his hand. “You have my word.”

Sam nodded with a devious smile. “Okay. Fine. You get them, then.”

Sock and Ben nodded eagerly. “Yeah, man,” Sock said.

The Devil inclined his head with a smirk. “Your wish... is my command.”

He snapped his fingers. A cloud of smoke momentarily shrouded the table, and Sam heard his friends cough. Then the smoke cleared, and Sam felt his jaw make a run for the floor.

They. Were. Gorgeous.

Three girls were staring wide-eyed at him and each other, sitting prettily around the table. One of them, a blonde, was curvaceous and had inviting, plump lips. Her hair fell attractively over her shoulders, she wore a light pink dress, and her eyes were huge and green. The second, a slim brunette, had chocolate coloured eyes and was looking with apprehensive desire at the blonde. She wore a deep green tank top and low-cut jeans.

The third, however, really took Sam's breath away. Her hair was inky black, her breasts had to be hand crafted by God himself, and her lips and dress were the exact same colour; deep crimson. Her icy blue eyes twinkled at Sam, and her porcelain skin just begged for touch.

Sam swallowed against his constricting throat. “Holy fuck.”

“Hey, he said three,” Sock's voice suddenly said. “I only see two.”

Sam's eyes forced themselves away from the black-haired girl's cleavage, looking for Sock. “Sock?”

“Yeah?” the blonde girl replied.

With Sock's voice.

Sam screamed, scrambling to stand up. He pointed at the blonde as if she was a huge, slimy thing just crawled up from the deep. “What are you?” he yelled, backing away from the girls. “Sock? Sock, talk to me, man!”

“Whoa, man, I'm right here,” the blonde said, frowning at Sam. “What's with your eyes?”

Sam could only stare. Slowly, understanding dawned on the brunette's face and she screamed – in Ben's voice. “What the fuck!”

Only the black-haired one was laughing. She was, in fact, roaring with laughter – with the Devil's voice.

Sam was starting to feel seriously nauseous.

“See? I told you I could get three hot babes here right away,” the Devil chortled, and Sam had to cover his eyes to stop looking at the way the perfect breasts heaved when he... she... it laughed.

“Insane!” Sam yelled. People were starting to stare at them, and he quickly made his way back to the table to hiss at the Devil, “You're insane!”

“Oh, come on, Sammy, isn't it fun? Don't we look pretty?” the Devil said, winking at his reaper. On the other side of the table, Ben was apparently in shock and Sock was feeling up his own breasts.

“Dude, this is awesome!” he said, looking at Sam. “Come feel this, Sam! They feel totally real!”

Sam very nearly threw up a little. “No, Sock, I'll – I'll pass.”

“Now come on, Sammy. I held up my end of the deal. Ready to fulfil yours?” the Devil said, waving Sam's cellphone in front of his face.

Sam did a double-take. “You can't be serious!”

“I got you three hot girls, didn't I?” the Devil said, gesturing to himself and the two others. It was so incredibly disturbing to hear his voice come from the lips of that stunningly hot girl! “Now let's kiss and make some revenge.”

Sock looked pensive. “I'm not a guy, so I wouldn't be gay if I kissed you, would I?” he pondered, and Sam just shook his head violently. Ben gave a frightened little whimper.

“Come on, let's do this,” the Devil said, sounding gleeful in a very unhealthy way – unhealthy for all those involved, at least. “The brunette first, eh, Sammy?”

Sam sighed angrily. “You're so...”

“I know. Pucker up!”

Sock actually had the nerve to laugh at that. Sam scowled, but sat down next to Ben. “But, hey! They didn't promise! You can't make them do anything they don't want!”

The Devil sighed, a look of mild exasperation on his face. “Well, fine. Who wants out?”

Ben raised his hand desperately, waving it around. The Devil snapped his fingers, and in front of his eyes, he melted back to his normal form, clothes and all. He almost swooned in relief, and Sam exhaled happily. One down...

“Hey, man, count me in,” Sock said, looking grave. “You need to make it look real. We need at least two different girls. Come on, Sam; you're my best friend. I'm doing this for you.”

Sam groaned, but shifted over until he was close to Sock. “I'm going to hate you both for this, you know that?” he said. He knew he was beaten.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Sock said, and laughed. It disturbed Sam that his friend was so okay with things, but then again, Sock did look amazing as a woman.

Quickly licking his lips, Sam carefully placed his lips close to Sock's. It felt so, so wrong. “You ready with the phone?” he asked, and the Devil handed the thing to Ben. Ben nodded.

_Alright, then. Here we go._

Sock's lips felt like a hot blonde's lips, mainly because they were. Sam kept his tongue well inside his mouth – that was a line he was just not willing to cross – and just kissed the plump lips lightly, closing his eyes.

“Got it,” Ben announced, and Sam instantly moved away.

Sock laughed. “Dude, we totally kissed!” he stated. “We never practised French kissing back in primary school; I'm sure karma just got back on us.”

“Sock, karma does _not_ determine whether or not people kiss each other,” Sam said, blushing like mad. He barely dared to look his friend in the eyes. “Okay, we got the picture. That's it.”

“No, it's not,” Sock insisted. “You gotta kiss us both; we have to make Andi believe you had the wildest night ever in celebration of your new-found freedom.”

Sam groaned. “Fine, fine, I'll kiss the Devil! Jeez!”

The Devil affected a pout, which really looked rather irresistible on his current face. “You're being very rude to me, Sam. I'm just trying to help you, remember?”

Sam sighed, but didn't get up from his chair. “Fine. Kiss me, then, so Ben can take the damn picture.”

The Devil rose from his chair, round hips and perfect breasts making Sock fumble with his glass, and elegantly slid into Sam's lap. Sam swallowed heavily.

“Oh, I will,” the Devil said, his grin so evil Sam was a little scared. A stunning ass made contact with his groin, and Sam almost bit through his tongue in his effort to remain calm. This was so, so wrong and so very disturbing!

And then the Devil-woman leaned in, and pressed his – her lips against Sam's. Sam closed his eyes again, but didn't react until he felt a tongue push forcefully past his own lips. He gave a muffled sound of protest, but the slick tongue was pushing against his own and making him squirm.

God, that felt good.

Shit, he was kissing the Devil!

Suddenly standing up, he almost sent the Devil flying before the latter suddenly changed back into his usual form and caught his balance. There was a shit-eating grin on the Devil's face.

“Well, Sammy, how's that for revenge?” the Devil laughed, and slapped Sam on the back. Sam felt the urgent need to brush his teeth and scrape his tongue raw.

“I got it,” Ben said, looking like Death itself. “Uh. The picture. I got it.”

Sam nodded. He felt queasy. He looked at Sock and noticed that his friend had been changed back into his real body, and sighed with relief.

“Yeah, well, you can keep your little picture,” Sock said, looking with mirth at Sam. “I got the whole thing on video.”

Sam groaned again, scrunching his eyes shut against the image of the Devil's fake body. And the thought of Andi finding those things on his cellphone.

Strangely, that didn't seem as tempting any more.

Sam vowed then and there never to let the Devil help him, ever again.


End file.
